If you are struggling with a mental health condition or chronic illness, life can forever simultaneously be both blissful and bleak. I have lived through them both, and everything in between, which is why I am proud to be vulnerable in sharing my story with you. Feelings, emotions, thoughts- they can be shameful and scary- but I have found that through opening my heart, I can encourage others to do the same. It is my deep wish that you have people in your life that support you in doing so, too. Please count me as one of them!

I do not have many happy childhood memories. In fact, I have hardly any childhood memories at all! After I was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at a young age, the illness plagued me during my younger years and continued to be in the drivers seat through adulthood. I dealt with crippling anxiety due to obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors; all of my mental faculties went to (what I thought was) managing my condition. Keeping it secret, doing things perfectly, appearing “normal”… I was disabled by my own neurosis. After suppressing my pain for so long by attempting, yet failing, to maintain control, I suffered a whole body breakdown. I had no choice but to take a leave of absence from work (and from life) and entered a day program in an attempt to stabilize. I did not yet know the depth of my own suffering.

After two months, it was deemed that I was too severe to continue, and I was recommended to a higher level of care. Soon after I packed up my life and moved into a residential program that I lived at for four months, as a 32-year-old, career-oriented, “healthy” woman with a husband and new house. Chronic illness does not discriminate! The experience was arduous, humbling, and emotionally excruciating, and the only way to develop the strength necessary to both break down and rebuild my world.

Moving home after being institutionalized for over six months felt like being reborn. I entered the world not as an adult but instead once again as a child, finally identifying and changing behaviors that had been part of me for over three decades. Then the pandemic began… a cultural paradigm shift. The only thing that kept me going was the courage—a tiny little flame—within me to adapt to whatever the future held. I exposed myself to a complete lack of control.

Throughout this journey, I have evaluated and reevaluated my work ethic, my relationships, my values, my needs, and my place in the world. I acknowledge my shortcomings and am compassionate in my frequent struggles. I put the work in every day to live intentionally, doing things that make me feel good on the outside AND the inside, so that I can be fully present in my life. With the support of my friends, family, a skilled therapist, and this nourishing practice, I am now able to look at myself through a lens of love. I am not ashamed of my illness, of my story, of myself.

With these lessons, and a true desire to help others feel seen, validated, and whole in their unique life experiences, I started Imperfect Yoga Chicago. The namesake is two-fold: one, I believe that any person can benefit from yoga, because nobody and no BODY is perfect. Two, I have learned that living in the moment, dwelling in the unknown, and accepting imperfection is the secret to a full life. In this, I found freedom, and I hold that same desire for everyone I meet.

…And What I Believe

I hope to hold a space in which you feel comfortable being your truest self, no matter what that is (or is not) today. My style of teaching is whole-body: physical movement, yes, but also incorporating your mental, emotional, and spiritual self. Think of my classes as an opportunity to connect with yourself during deep, nourishing stretches; I do not categorize them as introductory nor advanced. Instead, I work to ensure that all postures are accessible to everyone, no matter your level of ability, including those with movement or mobility concerns. I generally close out with some form of guided meditation or mindfulness exercise. Some folks have even fallen asleep… and I consider that a compliment!

We spend so much of our lives running although we cannot even identify what we are running from. We do everything in our power to avoid feeling pain, and then we become so busy doing these things that we lose the ability to just “be”. It is okay to just be sometimes! To sit, to breathe, to rest. My ideal world is one in which you do not need to earn rest; where our worth is not correlated with our productivity. Where sleep and self-care are celebrated more than our calendars. I believe you deserve all of this, too, simply because you are human.